Ever just have enough of ... well, everything? Ever just have a few days in a row where everything seems to just go wrong or tick you off? Welcome to my weekend. If it wasn't enough that my car light went out, or my mom decided to yell all day for no reason, or that I have an interview tomorrow and I'm praying I get the job, but I have to deal with SL too. This is a post about the girl behind Sevra, the kitten you all adore, and about Sevra, who is quite honestly me with ears.
I'm tired of being alone. It's funny, they advertise SL as an escape from your real life... a means of starting a "fresh new life". Well, ironically, all SL seems to be is a mirror of what you already have in your real life. The avi you are controlling IS you. The problems you have in real life are often reflected too in SL, except you have to deal with the problems of the internet along with it. For example, my last "wife" was a MAN. YES, it was very pleasant to learn one day that the girl that I decided to spend every day with online had something between his legs.. FUN. How about the fact that every person I seem to meet online wants a quick fuck or a quick cuddle and then that's it.. you are no longer a priority in their lives. It's funny, I have a friends list YARDS long and each night I'm alone at my house. Each night the same old girls who just want a means of rubbing off IM me. Well I'm sick of it.
I hope there are people out there who can understand what I'm talking about. I hope there are people out there like me who hear crap from people everyday like "your so great, your so pretty, your so wonderful" and yet where does it get you? Unemployed, no friends, surrounded by some seriously horny people who just need to get a life and learn the definition of what a FRIEND really is.
So for all you people out there like me, I salute you. This is to everyone who is just simply ticked off about everyone around her and wants to start a new. This is to everyone who came to SL to get just that... a second life, and ended up with a damn near carbon copy of what she already had. I wish people would take other's feelings into account. I wish someone gave a shit when someone left a room and said "hey, where did Sevra go?". I wish someone would IM me when I did leave and offer to come to see if I'm ok. But no, its too much for people. I give and give and give to everyone around me and I don't think I'm being too selfish to just ask for something/someone for myself. Is it so wrong to just want something in your own life as some sort of reward for everything you do all day to make everyone smile through their lives as you cry through yours? Is it wrong to just as for a tiny PIECE of that.. just a piece.
Look deep inside your heart and ask yourself how many TRUE friends.. ie: people who would be there for you at a drop of a hat, would be there for you when you need them... depressing how small that number is isn't it? How many people are tooted as being so great and come home (in both realities) by themselves with no one to greet them when they come through the door? If you care about someone like a friend, remember to BE one back. Remember that sometimes , some people just need a hug.. any sign to know that there is SOMEONE willing to take 5 minutes out of their busy day, to STOP what they are doing to see if you need to know your important... just for a minute.
If you don't like the post, tough. I am really quite tired of trying to make everyone smile but me in my life. If you know how I feel, go ahead and just give a nice scream to release that frustration 'cuase I know how you feel girlfriend!
Your Favorite Kitten
~Mew Mew~
About Me
- Sevra Capra
- My name is Sevra Capra, although many call me Sev or Sevvy. I am a little neko kitten from the lands of Second Life. In this blog I hope I can share my stories with my dear friends, and show them just what they mean to me. Some of my friends are lovers, so some mature content may be discussed, please take that into account ^.^. I love all you, enjoy! Mew!
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16 comments:
sl is what you make of it really, if you feel its too much like your real life oyu have the power to change that and when you feel lonely sometimes you just need to go towards people rather then wait for them come to you...
i'm sad to see you go but it was great meeting you even if didnt talk much :(
Great MEETING ME?
wow.. see this is what im talking about.. shit shes on my damn freinds list and she doesnt even know who the hell i am.
oh im sorry, i was just alerted that that was a farewell... apparently when people are in need of comfort the best thing to do is just let them go ... apparently proving my point that other souls , besides yourself, warrent no more time/thought than that of what you want to eat in the morning. wonderful to know that when you see someone in need its a simple" well y ou can just magically change yoru life when you want to.. oh btw, nice knowing you"
great freind
you talked to me twice so yeah i cant really say we were friends. you may have been in my list but that doesnt mean anything. friendship is built it doesnt magically exist because you add someone to a list.
and yeah in sl you can magically change your world because theres no limits, thats what is so great about it.
Tiana,
If it helps, I know exactly what you're going through. Many of my "friends" on SL want just one thing... a quick screw. For instance, I tried to show two new guys around SL just trying to be nice and almost immediately was bombarded with unwanted come ons and sexual suggestions.
That being said... I have a lot of true friends on SL as well, who are really good and who I know will be there for me no matter what.
The unfortunate thing about SL (or any virtual world) is that it simultaneously brings out the best and the worst in people. Being anonymous can allow people to act in ways that they normally wouldn't. Sometimes people are saints when they have this anonymity and sometimes they're sinners. Unfortunately, most guys I know, use it to try and screw anything that moves.
I don't know you, but I understand what you're feeling and I wanted you to know that you're not alone. There are decent people on SL, you just have to find them.
*Hugs*
Nat
I'm thinking that was supposed to be directed to Sevra, not Tiana. o.o;
Anyway.. Sevvy, I've already given you all the thoughts I've come up with.. though I don't think it really mattered all that much.
All I really wanted to tell you is that I Love you dearly, and I'll hate to see you go. ._. It'll mean I won't get to touch you, won't get to hug you, snuggle and kiss and lick your ears. I know none of it is physical. But it's more then that. The emotional is better, to me. ._.
I'll miss you.. I already miss you, Sev. ._. I don't want you to leave.
It was directed at Sevra. sorry. :)
We have never met, I am only a stranger that reads you blog, but it pains me to see your suffering, your bitterness...
I understand that there is nothing I can say to make things easier for you, to make the happy girl/kitten I readed about come back but, please, don't surrender to anger.
Try to remember, there must be people you talked with, maybe for hours, sharing your thoughs, your feelings about something! Maybe they don't even know what is happening or now keep a respectfull distance expecting you call them...
Please, open to them and let them ease, if not your burden, the void you feel now.
I know you aren't on the mood to hear silly, obvious advices from strangers, but don't surrender. The pain and the taste of betrayal may never fully dissapear, but don't let it break you... nobody deserves to get her heart broken.
I agree with London.. You can't let the anger and hurt and all those bad feelings take over. Things will always get better after they've gotten worse, it's inevitable.
You know I have always been, and always will be, here for you, SL and here, Yahoo, etc. Here to talk to you, to hug you, to kiss you, to give you as much love as I can.
You realize you've never been put on the back burner when it comes to me, right? I know often times I'm busy when you come on.. but I don't like to abort whatever I'm doing with someone. You're very important to me, Sev. You just need to have some patience with me.. I know it's asking alot, but.. ::Sighs.::
Well.. You know how much I miss you, how much I will miss you, hun.
I Love you Sevra.
It's funny, I have a friends list YARDS long and each night I'm alone at my house.
I have a feeling that's a fairly common SL sentiment - I sure know I am very familiar with it!! It's odd, too, because out of the 25 or so people on my list, almost all of them added me, but were almost immediately too busy to write back the following day or any time thereafter. Needless to say, I do a lot of friends list cleaning, removing the silent names frequently.
My friends list has become active lately, however, and I think the key to that is this: if you are out doing something with someone and you get an IM from another person on your list, invite them to join you instead of just talking through IM - this has made quite a difference in my SL activities recently - and group activities of three or more seem more highly entertaining to me for some reason.
Oh, and very cool meeting you at the blogger party!! :-)
Haha.. Wrath, that also depends on what it is you're doing. ::Nods.:: There's.. some things that well.. yah. <.<; But yeah. That's why I asked her to come with me to the bloggy party. I was hoping it'd help cheer her at least a little. ::Sighs, pouting.::
Damn, I'm late to the party again. I hope you're feeling better and will stick around, Sevra.
Sevra,
I just met you the other night, so I can't say I know you, but I know what you are talking about. In my real life, I don't have many friends, at least real friends, but in SL I decided to change that. I became a little more aggressive, I IM people, ask what they are doing, try to get things going... It is easy in SL to get lost. It can be hard to get time together due to RL time differences and commitments. SL commitments can also make things difficult. Wrath's suggestion is a great one, and one I am going to try and start doing.
My friends list is only about a dozen people, and out of those half I talk to once a week, the others are just people I need to be able to keep in touch with for projects and so forth.
Yes there are a lot of people looking for some quick SLex, but they are ones you drop real quick, there are some cool people in SL, you know some of them. I would say give it another try, but be pro-active this time, it could make a world of difference. An if you do come back, look me up, dinee and I go out dancing most nights, and the more the merrier..
I think the bigger thing to do is not make a decision you might regret later, like deleting your account. If you want a break, walk away and take a break. Second Life can be like a wonderful dream some days and a bad nightmare other days....
Dear Sevra,
we do not know each other, we never met before.
I stumbled on your blog today, thx to Pandora's Quick & Dirty post (http://pandoradesigns.wordpress.com/2007/07/12/quick-and-dirty-3/)
I read your post and the only thing I could think about was "hell I know how she feels".
Your considerations, very well written, do tell a common story that everyone who cares in SL have tried at least once on his/her/its very skin...
I have no good advices to do, nor I will tell how I just got over it, everyone of us react in different ways... But if you still take a look at your
blog from time to time, please do not cancel your account, that's not the right choice to do!
You have a point when you say that you can count what you call "friends" within one hand's fingers (and mines are less...) but, still there's so much
to dicsover and so many ppl to meet.
And there are "us".
There are ppl that live SL the same way that you do, ppl who cares and that have a desperate needs of friends like you!
So, if you like to have a nice chat about this or about the weather infile, just IM me or send me a PM to my slprofiles, I won't ask for a quick fuck
or cuddlies :P
Wow...
I to just stumbled across your blog today, but reading that was like looking in a mirror... Maybe not entirely, as in some ways I'm much more about RL when it comes to that. I want someone to hold me at night when I go to bed and have a warm bed because someone else is there with me in it. But the thoughts are the same... The feeling are the same...
I'm a true friend to everyone I am with, but so far I seem to always end up having no real friends myself... And wondering if people real care about each other anymore...
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